Birth Mother Help

Posted: 11/24/2007 in Adoption, Thoughts

First of all as usual I have so many thoughts I am not quite sure I could put them all down so I will put the most pending ones down. I found a quote that I like a lot. I like to think of myself as the Queen of quotes. I am not very good at expressing myself, I think, so when I find someone elses thoughts that match mine I get really excited. Mistakes are the usual bridge between experience and Wisdom. Phyliss Theroux. I have no clue who this women is but I know I like her thoughts. I have decided in my quest to receive help to get back on my feet that there isn’t much out there. Maybe I am looking in all the wrong places but really every time I Google anything to do with Adoption, very rarely does something come up for the birth parents. It is usually something for those that are adopting. Not that I am bashing those that are adopting by any means but please, for Heavens sakes what about those left behind (financially); in a way. I understand that there are our families, church families, state help, blah, blah, blah, but each situation is very unique and individual. I understand that there are procedures and policies that have to be followed but give me a break. What happened to taking peoples circumstances into consideration. I am not the best at moving forward with ideas but I do come up with some pretty good ones for that matter. I was trying to Google Birth Mother Grants and one came up IF you live in Indiana. I thought that was rediculous. I have no idea how to go about doing this so I guess what I am trying to say is if there is anyone out there that would like to help me or has any idea how to go about doing this I would love to hear from you. I want to start some kind of Birth Mother Foundation that helps Birth Moms get back on their feet after their placement in very trying circumstances. I have obviously developed a deep passion for Adoption and all that it entails. There are other things that I would like to change and I have no idea how to go about doing it or know if they can be changed. I would love to hear opinions or if there is anyone seriously interested in jumping on board with me with this idea. Like I said, I am really good at coming up with the idea, executing it is another. I just don’t want another Birth Mom to end up struggling. I know that I can’t solve every issue that has to do with Adoption because each story is completely individual but if I can at least make the difference in a few lives that would be worth it. It is so frustrating to be honest in my dealings and to be trying but because of “this” law or “that” law I or someone else can’t. Or should I say because someone didn’t do there job a Birth Mom gets totally SCREWED!! Pardon me but it happens. It is shocking when you find out that the AVERAGE Birth Mom is 23!!! That puts it into a little more perspective of why I have issues with Birth Moms needing help. I have another bone to pick. I never disagree with Ecclesiastical leaders but I feel frustrated when every talk , quote, statement, or article that has to do with Adoption talks about UNWED parents!!! No I wasn’t in a LOVING stable, established, eternal, etc. marriage but I feel like it needs to be restated . I am sure that 99.9% of children that are placed come from an unwed couple but there are always those few that are. So I just have some passionate feelings towards these issues. I will post some more later. I would like to thank those of you who respond in advance. If you want to email me, you are more than welcome to. Also if there are any birth moms or anyone that is dealing with adoption, that I can help, let me know. I know that I am only mortal but the best way for me to feel productive in all this it to be able to help someone elso.

  1. ~MeQueen~ says:

    this was the first comment it disappeared somehow!I’ll post it anyway!I like your “pending thoughts” one! I think being a birth mom is a big enough thought in and of itself! I think you did a great job of expressing yourself. I think truly you have something to shout about. You are somewhat stranded as the birth mom and then to be a single mom all at once seems big! You probably are frustrated when you cannot find info. relating to your circumstance. I think you should be a speaker at birth mom/adoption conferences. I mean someone has to tell it like you do, straight and to the point.

  2. The problem lies in the fact that everything is usually “confidential” with adoptions and therefore it is hard to know what needs a person has. I would love to help others, esp. that girl we talked about in our emailing but I don’t know what they need or how to help them. Does the church help its members to get back on their feet? We need to remember the birth mother’s role is SACRED and as such needs all the love and support she can get. I will help in anyway you need. Lisa

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